11
Jan
14

Alien Warrior (1986)

AlienWarriorCoverThe videocassette strikes again! Another timeless (not) masterpiece (nope) from the 1980’s makes its way into my living room thanks to the wonders of the VCR. This time it’s one of the most enjoyable worst movies I’ve ever seen, Alien Warrior.

The short synopsis: Alien Jesus. The (slightly) longer version: an alien (Jesus) and his father (God) discuss how his brother came to earth in hopes of saving it from “Great Evil,” but failed. The alien is determined to finish what his brother started and shows up in the middle of Scary Bad Evil City, USA where drug dealers (Great Evil) reign supreme.

Our alien friend chooses the name Buddy and walks around town in tight jeans and a neatly-trimmed beard asking everyone he runs into: “are you Great Evil?” Apparently there really is one “Great Evil” and it’s a drug-dealer/pimp/rapist known as Mr. One. Our friend Buddy stumbles upon him and after MacGyvering a car and finding a woman to treat nicely he is successful at defeating Great Evil.

So, yeah, this is absolutely dreadful religious propaganda. Unfortunately, it’s not available on DVD; I would love to share this with more people. I’m quite fond of the extremely black and white good vs. evil tales a la Walker, Texas Ranger, and this is definitely comparable to that. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to get Chuck Norris to play this role. This movie is so gleefully, delightfully devoid of substance. I either loved it or I loved hating it. It doesn’t matter which.

 

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