The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea (1973)

sailorposterMy undying love for Kris Kristofferson has rarely let me down, but this time, it unfortunately led me to The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea. A little birdy told me there was a very risque, Brown Bunnyesque love scene in this movie, with Mr. Kristofferson on the receiving end. Naturally, I hurried to order it on blu-ray. Alas, no scene exists, at least not in the cut we’ve got. There’s a good dose of steamy Kristofferson, don’t get me wrong, but this movie revolves mostly around a group of shitty kids.

I hate shitty kids, especially when they plot to kill Kris Kristofferson. And that’s exactly what this movie is about: a young boy, whose widowed mother falls in love with a sailor (Kristofferson), is convinced that there is a “natural order” to the world, a delicate balance that can very easily be thrown off. When the sailor decides to divorce the sea and marry his mother, the kid believes the natural order will be disrupted. So, in order to prevent this from happening, he and the aforementioned group of shitty kids plot to knock the sailor out and cut him to pieces, returning him to the sea where he belongs.

Whatever. For the first half of the movie, I was like “whoa, what’s going on, I want to read the book!” and for the second half, I was like “whoa, I hate this.” I hate what it had to say, and I hate the way it said it. But most of all, I hate seeing Kris Kristofferson in danger!


2 Responses to “The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea (1973)”

  1. 1 MJ
    October 8, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    Congratulations. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the SINGLE WORST REVIEW I have ever read. It was the first item I read on this blog, and will also be the last. Pathetic.

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