07
Jul
13

The Monster Club (1981)

Eramus (Vincent Price), a rather charming vampire, happens upon R.Chetwynd-Hayes (John Carradine) on the street. He asks for help, but he doesn’t want cash – he wants blood! When he finds out his victim is none other than the world’s premier horror writer, he insists on buying him a drink at The Monster Club, a place where all the local beasties hang out and listen to rad music!

I'd enjoy an instructional beverage with Vincent Price any day.

I’d enjoy an instructional beverage with Vincent Price any day.

The scenery ain't bad either, if ya know what I mean...

The scenery ain’t bad either, if ya know what I mean…

 

Here, Eramus instructs Chetwynd-Hayes on horror genealogy, hoping to give him some juicy new ideas to write about. We learn all about what happens when a ghoul and a human mate: they make a “humegoo” of course. And we learn to be terrified of the Shadmock’s whistle, which is just about the only thing the poor creatures have going for them. And, of course we learn never to forget the ancient strength of the good, old-fashioned vampire types.

Beware the Shadmock's whistle!

Beware the Shadmock’s whistle!

...but even more importantly, beware HUMANITY!

…but even more importantly, beware HUMANITY!

The Monster Club is exactly what I want out of horror movies. Vincent Price is awesome, of course; I can think of no man (or monster?) better than him to narrate this horror anthology. In between stories we get a glimpse into the world of monsters – who knew they hung out at such hip clubs, listening to such cool music and watching such hot skeleton stripteases! And like any good horror anthology, in the end we learn that us humans are the true monsters of the world.

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