07
Jul
13

Cool World (1992)

Want to see acting at its worst? Here you go. It ain't pretty.

Want to see acting at its worst? Here you go. It ain’t pretty.

Everyone makes mistakes. Mistake # 1: Ralph Bakshi made Cool World. Mistake # 2: we watched Cool World. An uglier train wreck of a movie would be hard to find. Usually, train wrecks are fascinating to watch, keeping its viewers asking the question: how bad can it be? Cool World is different. Cool World is the kind of train wreck that begs you to turn it off and forget you ever even tried watching it. I’m not sure how much of that has to do with Brad Pitt’s atrocious stab at acting, but I’m leaning towards quite a bit.

Brad Pitt, of course, is not the only reason why this movie sinks

And that dress. Really with that dress?

And that dress. Really with that dress?

like the Titanic. Cool World can’t decide what it wants to be about. There’s no focus; the plot is all over the place. We start off with young Frank Harris (Pitt) coming home from the war in the 40’s. He gets into a motorcycle accident and ends up in Cool World, the place where the doodles live, seemingly indefinitely. What the first fifteen minutes of the movie have to do with the rest is anyone’s guess. Years pass by and I guess Harris becomes a doodle detective, and he’s always finding out sneaky crap Holli Would (Kim Basinger) is up to, and I guess Holli’s penned by Jack Deebs (Gabriel Byrne) a guy who’s been in jail for a while. Holli’s aspiration is to end up in the real world and she keeps pulling Deebs into doodle world and WHATEVER, MAKE IT STOP!

Like I said, some of this movie looks almost kind of "cool."

Like I said, some of this movie looks almost kind of “cool.”

Undeniably, some of this movie looks cool. The sets and the “doodles” are not bad. Unfortunately, they’re not good enough to keep this movie from making its viewers want to cry. Not even a brownie sundae, which I insisted on making in the middle of this movie to survive the task of watching it, could save me from hating it. To be fair, Bakshi didn’t get to make the movie he wanted to make. He was forced to make one with more “mass appeal,” which is hilarious, because I’m pretty sure this movie appeals to absolutely no one. Filing this under THE WORST.

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