05
Jul
13

The Boxer’s Omen (1983)

The battle between good and evil will always serve us with endless fodder for movie plots. The good news is, movies based on this never-ending battle can vary immensely from run-of-the-mill to straight-up batshit crazy. The Boxer’s Omen, a Hong Kong production from the 80’s, thankfully falls into the latter category, and can easily be filed under one of the most disgusting movies I have ever seen in my entire life.

Psychedelic rainbow halo, duh.

Psychedelic rainbow halo, duh.

At this point in my movie-watching career, I really should not be surprised at the insanity Asian cinema produces. Movies like House, Mystics in Bali and Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion serve as a very small sampling of this phenomenon, and even though I have seen them all, and they are all unforgettable in their own way, I was still awed by The Boxer’s Omen.

A glimpse of the den of evil.

A glimpse of the den of evil.

I will try to sum up the plot as succinctly as I possibly can: a Hong Kong boxer is permanently disabled by a corrupt Thai boxer, and asks his brother to seek revenge against him. Meanwhile, the able-bodied brother is approached by the spirit of a buddhist monk, who is apparently his psychic twin or something like that. He is sought by the monk to defeat the powers of evil who are preventing him from achieving enlightenment (or something?). The only way evil can be defeated is if the young man quickly becomes a buddhist monk in order to face evil head to head.

Brains, it's what's for dinner.

Brains, it’s what’s for dinner.

Whatever. The important thing is, we get to see lots of animated, fuzzy animal-like things, regurgitation, painted folks, bubbling skin, vomiting, crocodiles, skulls, brains and the like. It’s the gooiest, slimiest, most viscous movie ever. It gives me the skeevies just thinking about it! I gagged a minimum of twelve times while watching it.

...??????....

…??????….

Films like The Boxer’s Omen are why I will give almost any movie a shot; there’s just no way of knowing what you’re missing unless you give it all a chance. There is a whole, wide world of unbelievable shit out there, just waiting to make your jaw drop (or almost make you throw up). Movies can be forgettable, trendy tripe or they can leave an indelible impression on you. I think I can safely say I will never, ever forget The Boxer’s Omen.

Don't mess with this lady.

Don’t mess with this lady…

Don't mess with this guy.

…or this guy.

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