26
May
13

Witchboard (1986)

Tawny Kitaen's hair.

Tawny Kitaen’s hair.

In part, I have to blame Witchboard and movies like it for my adoration of crappy 80’s horror flicks. I watched this movie frequently as a kid. I would not be surprised if I first came across it while watching USA’s Up All NightRewatching this as an adult, I must say I’m embarrassed. Witchboard is not a good movie.

The movie revolves around Linda Brewster (played by 1980’s rock video icon Tawny Kitaen) and her obsession with a Ouija board brought to her house for a party. Her boyfriend, Jim, makes light of the board and thinks it’s a bunch of crap, but his ex-best friend

That kooky Kathleen Wilhoite

That kooky Kathleen Wilhoite

Brandon (Stephen Nichols a.k.a. Patch from Days of our Lives!) takes it very seriously indeed.

Not long after the party, Linda starts acting strangely, and bad things start happening to people in her life. The local police Lieutenant Dewhurst suspects Jim is guilty of all this bad stuff, but Brandon knows in his infinite Ouija wisdom that Linda is suffering from progressive entrapment – the spirits of the board have baited her with interesting information and friendly acts of

PATCH!

PATCH!

kindness, only to use her as a conduit for evil! Brandon convinces Jim to hire a kooky psychic (Kathleen Wilhoite) to exorcise the demons from Linda’s apartment.

Ugh, this movie is so tiresome. The detective’s cutesy Columbo routine is bullshit, and I think Q was going to shit himself if Brandon said “progressive entrapment” one more time. There’s really nothing good about this movie, so unless you’re a Tawny Kitaen completist, I’d say it’s safe to skip this one.

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