Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)

What the world needs now is more Tales from the Crypt movies. Though not as awesome as Demon Knight (after all, Dennis Miller is no Billy Zane), Bordello of Blood still delivers the pun-filled goods. With another cast that oozes 1990’s, here the Tales from the Crypt folks tackle lady vampires, private detectives, and televangelism.

Awakening the evil Lady Vampire Lilith

Awakening the evil Lady Vampire Lilith

Katherine Verdoux’s brother Caleb (Corey Feldman) is a no good troublemaker. One night after a fight with his sister, Caleb and a pal hit up the local funeral home/bordello. Convenient, no? This is no regular bordello, of course, it is indeed a bordello of blood, where lady vampires (led by one of the biggest actress of the 90’s, Angie Everhart) who are hungry for blood suck the clientele dry and dispose of their corpses easily.

Lilith does not like it when her underlings don't follow instructions.

Lilith does not like it when her underlings don’t follow instructions.

Days pass and Caleb never makes it home, so Katherine goes to the cops for help. Unfortunately, they’re so backed up with missing persons cases, they won’t be able to help her for weeks! Lucky or unlucky for Katherine, slimy private detective Rafe Guttman (Miller) hangs around so he can take advantage of the folks the cops are unwilling or unable to help. Katherine begrudgingly accepts his offer. Despite his seeming incompetence, Guttman actually makes it to the bordello, where he begins to uncover some secrets that involve Katherine’s employer, the televangelist Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon).

Preach on, Reverend Current!

Preach on, Reverend Current!

Once again, Tales from the Crypt puts out a great-looking film. The make-up and effects are fantastic; none of that wretched CG crap that dominates movies today. Naturally, a movie called Bordello of Blood will have a strong strain of humor in it, and Chris Sarandon brings it like he usually does. I think I have a crush on him. Anyway… like I said this isn’t as good as Demon Knight, but I still loved this and long to find more movies like it.

Private Dick Rafe Guttman's on the case!

Private Dick Rafe Guttman’s on the case!

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