11
Feb
13

Solar Crisis (1990)

solarcrisisI used to think I had a pretty good tolerance for total crap, but the cull* is really wearing my patience thin. The case is extra poor for Solar Crisis, seeing as how its director didn’t want his name associated with it, and instead credited it to Alan Smithee. Charlton Heston and Corin Nemec (yeah, Parker Lewis, remember him?) didn’t even come close to making this movie worth watching.

Solar Crisis is another science-fiction film set in a hot, hot future. American corporations have control over virtually everything (a lot like one of our other cull flicks, Crash and Burn, but unfortunately nowhere near as acceptable), and one particular corporate giant, IXL, does not care to heed the warnings of virtually every scientist on the planet when they say a solar flare will be huge enough to hit the earth and destroy all life on it within the next two days.

Heston

Heston

Instead of supporting the entire earth’s mission to steer a large anti-matter bomb into the sun in hopes of redirecting the solar flare away from earth, the CEO of IXL has sent one of his finest jerkfaces to thwart the mission.

This crappy movie is all over the place. There are so many threads, I feel like the people who wrote this would have been better off with a mini-series instead of a feature-length film. The hammy acting is pretty unbearable, and if I had to sit through one more scene with a floating image of the sun I probably would have just left the room. I’ve seen

Palance

Palance

worse throughout this cull, but I’ve also seen much better. This is another unremarkable movie I wouldn’t recommend anyone wasting their time on. The only good thing about this movie is Jack Palance, who plays a crazy-old desert dweller and is just a joy to watch amidst the rest of the boring crap going on here.

*Q and I have decided it’s time for a great cull; an early spring cleaning. We have a large number of movies we have not yet seen. Are these movies any good? This is the question we are out to answer. If it’s no good, out it goes.

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4 Responses to “Solar Crisis (1990)”


  1. 1 max von D
    February 11, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    awesome review!! 🙂 but i still kind of wanna watch the movie, for some odd reason…


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