Circuitry Man (1990)

CircuitryManNow that I’ve completed my odyssey through the work of director David Cronenberg, Q and I have decided it’s time for a great cull; an early spring cleaning. We have a large number of movies we have not yet seen. Are these movies any good? This is the question we are out to answer. If it’s no good, out it goes.

And so the great cull begins with Circuitry Man. This is set in the “near future” where the oceans have dried up, the last tree has been cut down, and oxygen is non-existent on the earth’s surface. The government has set up underground cities, and the story starts in Underground Los Angeles, where Lori, a former bodyguard turned lacy seamstress, is bullied into one last job guarding her former boss, Juice.

Juice deals in chips – computer chips, I guess – the heroin of the day. She’s trying to work a deal with Plughead, a baddy with… plugs… in his head… but the deal is soured by the presence of some undercover cops: on the run, Plughead knocks out Lori and snaps Juice’s neck. Lori wakes up, plugs Plughead with something and steals the chips in hopes of making a fortune in New York, finally getting out of the hellhole she lives in.

Plughead. Ooh, scary.

Plughead. Ooh, scary.

Getting around isn’t easy in this post-apocalyptic world, though – she’ll need a driver. The only one she knows is a Pleasure-droid named Donner, in search of his girlfriend who doesn’t actually exist; she’s just a program, he just doesn’t know it. Lori convinces him to join her and off they go, first starting underground but ending up on the earth’s surface, which is rife with pool sharks and motorcycle gangs.

This movie is a piece of crap. I cared absolutely nothing for any of the characters (except Donner, a little bit, by the end). Lori is incredibly irritating, and so is Plughead; he’s just not very good at being very bad. Needless to say, this one goes into the out pile.


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