10
Nov
12

Spellcaster (1992)

Could you say no to a thirty-three-cent copy of a 90’s horror videocassette starring Adam Ant? Neither could I. Spellcaster doesn’t actually star Adam Ant, in fact I don’t think you actually see his face until the last five minutes of the movie. But it does indeed star one Ms. Bunty Bailey, none other than the chick from A-ha’s video for Take On Me.

Bunty Bailey’s Cassandra Castle: A lot less cute than her Take On Me moment!

Bailey plays Cassandra Castle, an insufferable, drunken pop star who begrudgingly agrees to isolate herself with several lucky contest winners in an Italian castle for a weekend. The chance to be near Castle is just icing on the cake; the real prize is a check for one million dollars to whomever finds it first. The check is hidden somewhere in the old castle, owned by the mysterious Diablo, played by Ant. Castle abhors her fans, her job, the awful “veejay” Rex who is hosting the fiasco, and herself. She promises Rex she’ll keep the check hidden from the contestants so they can split the goods, as long as he enforces the rule that none of the contestants can come near her, but Diablo and his crystal ball have different plans for that check.

Honestly, you can’t blame Castle for not wanting to be around the terrible contestants. They each represent the worst stereotypes of their respective countries: The creepy Italian womanizer, the French diva, the rich English colonialist, the fat American, and so on. I actually wondered at one point if the contestants were supposed to represent the seven deadly sins, but that never really seemed to pan out. As the contest begins, we see real greed at work, and as contestants break the one real rule of the contest – don’t fuck with Diablo’s shit – they begin to drop like flies.

The audience has to wait as long as the contestants to meet Diablo.

Ultimately this is Willy Wonka for horror fans… only it’s less creepy. Like Willy Wonka, Diablo’s purpose was to weed out the bad apples to find the good, pure soul. The difference, of course, is that Diablo wants that soul for his very own. In the grand scheme of things, this movie isn’t bad at all; it had some pretty good special effects and, come on, it had the chick from Take On Me and Adam Ant (albeit for a brief scene). I wouldn’t go so far as to call this a hidden gem, but it comes close – you could do a whole lot worse (and believe me, I have!). It’s just good enough to keep me gambling on cheap videocassettes. Whether that’s good or bad I’ve yet to decide.

Advertisements

1 Response to “Spellcaster (1992)”


  1. 1 ladyfaceladyface
    November 11, 2012 at 5:17 am

    Awesome!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Categories

Old Wave


%d bloggers like this: