The Blood Spattered Bride (1972)

I’ve been excited to watch this one ever since Q bought it. With a name like The Blood Spattered Bride, who wouldn’t be? It wasn’t until we popped the dvd in that we saw it was yet another film adaptation of Carmilla, which, unbelievably, I still haven’t read. In fact, the first time I even heard of it was watching a different adaptation, Let’s Scare Jessica to Death. I seriously dug that one, so I was really looking forward to watching this, too.

It starts out with a newlywed couple on their honeymoon. He’s your stereotypical 1970’s European hornball, she’s a virginal youngster (referred to, many times throughout the film, as ‘merely a child’). It’s made clear that they’ve waited until marriage to consummate their relationship. It is also clear that she is absolutely terrified of the prospect, as she has terrible, violent visions of men violating her. The visions cause her to make them leave

Oh, young virgins are so impressionable.

their hotel, and instead they set off for the husband’s childhood home, which is way, way creepier.

At first, here, in this old manor, the newlyweds seem happy and are constantly going at it. Before long, though, the young wife’s curiosity of the manor’s history gets the best of her. After some exploring, she finds a portrait of a woman in the basement, with the face cut out. She learns the woman evidently murdered her husband on the night of their wedding. After hearing the story, our young bride begins to dream of the legendary woman, and wakes up with a dagger in her hands. How did it get there? Did the creepy little child that lives in the manor put it there, as everyone would hope?  Is the young bride experiencing serious psychosis over losing her virginity? Or is the legend of the mysterious undead vampire lesbian to blame?!

For quite a while I thought this movie was going to move in some seriously interesting directions. It even leads us on when we see our young bride psychoanalyzing

You don’t need a metal detector to find this lump of gold in the sand.

herself. Unfortunately, it is not so. What follows is simply shock, gore and nudity. Which, you know, I’m actually quite fond of – so I ended up liking this movie pretty well. But I was definitely hoping there’d be more substance to it. Alas, it is not so. But, the movie did bring us a scene in which the husband finds the lesbian/vampire/zombie buried in sand wearing a SCUBA mask and nothing else! Couldn’t resist sharing this picture…

All in all, if you happened upon this flick and had nothing else to do, I’d say give it a shot. I’d probably watch it again – it looked really good and again, was pretty entertaining, but ultimately disappointing in the end. Watching movies is such a sad business sometimes.

2 Responses to “The Blood Spattered Bride (1972)”

  1. 1 ladyfaceladyface
    August 3, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Are those boobs real?!

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